Christmas E-card

There’s nothing like getting a card or letter in the mail, slicing open the envelope and devouring every word that comes from a faraway place. However, when I have to resort to e-cards, I figure they should either be super pretty, awesome animation or just plain entertaining. Here’s my shot at the entertaining. (and for the record, certain lines in the poem are exaggerated or just plain not true – I had to find something that rhymed with vacation and diarrhea!)

Twas the month before Christmas
And all my shopping was done
All I had left to do
Was send cards to everyone

I made my list
Thought I couldn’t fail
So why did you only get
This lousy email?

It could have been the mice
Who ate all my paper
Or the burglar
Who stabbed me with a saber

Or perhaps it was my horse
Who had diarrhea
Or maybe my work
That shipped me off to Korea

But what about my pens
That all ran out of ink
Or even my laundry
That turned out all pink

There was the sunburn
That laid me up while on vacation
Or the time I lost
Putting down an alien invasion

But never fear
Despite this silly verse
I hope you get all good things
Not just a couple links of bratwurst

My wish for you this Christmas season
Is: love and warm feelings
A lovely something under the tree
And choirs of angels singing

(not real angels, just metaphorical ones, because if they were real, you’d be dead and I don’t want that)

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year


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